Tuesday, June 24, 2008
How to be a 14 year old again
So, thanks to a friend's wedding this past weekend, I have discovered how to stay young forever. And as one of those friends has pointed out, we didn't even need the aid of alcohol to figure out these things, perhaps it would be less embarrassing were we completely wasted, cause then we would have an excuse, as it is, these are the ways you can be perpetually 14.
1. Not only notice the hot chick photographer in her white see through pants (she was very tan under there) but then bet with your friends as to whether she is wearing any panties. Awesome fun, and my husband amazingly was the one who figured out that she in fact was wearing a thong. How? I have no idea, because a couple of times her little butt was in my face and I couldn't see it. But leave it to a boy.
2. When said photographer leaves her flash dimmer thing that looks like a silicon boob on your table, pretend to shove it into your dress to cover your boobs like a bra - even better to do when she is standing right behind you. They love it, don't let them tell you otherwise.
3. Completely destroy everything on your table - ie ripping the petals off of the roses that were so beautiful you could cry at the beginning of the night. Place said petals into either the open flame candle, or first extinguish the candle and then dip the roses into the wax. then throw the wax at people at your table. But the best is to throw a handful of petals at someone and shout "Huzzah!!" it really makes the moment special.
4. Make the dirtiest, most suggestive "honeymoon" CD you have ever heard, and then listen to it with your group of friends, commenting on all the fun parts in the song, because let's face it, dirty songs are still fun...and funny.
5. Pose for pictures on various playground equipment - swings, monkey bars, anything goes.
6. Find it infinitely amusing that at certain angles of the table, it looks like you are not wearing any clothing at all - then take pictures proving this fact, and then even better, be very proud of this and make sure everyone knows you were "naked"
7. Laugh at all 420, 69, poop and sex jokes that you are able to come up with. Really, when is this stuff supposed to not be funny anymore? I know it isn't when you have kids - cause I have some friends that shall remain nameless that still find these things amusing. You know who you are.
8. Feel like you have to apologize to those you are with when you want to write a sincere note of congratulations and happiness to those you are there celebrating for/with. Having to declare things to be "serious" and "for real"
9. Find it endlessly amusing that two boys are sharing a double bed and engaging in "pillow talk"- then have a picture sneak attack of this situation
10. Drinking Milkshakes - drinking them all up.
Feel free to use these things in your daily life to feel perpetually young! They work for me!
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2 comments:
I really enjoyed this... I'd like to hear some of your poop and sex jokes... AND soon!
you know, i left a comment for this before but it seems to have disappeared. good stuff, and good times.
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